Words.

This feeling cannot be explained. Nor can it be described, seen, touched, heard or smelled. It can only be felt, but only when you are not trying to feel it. It may start as a feeling of confusion or a feeling of total comfort. Though you may not be able to decipher this feeling from reality, you still know that it exists. It's more real to you than a mans faith, but is even more vague and subtle than a spiritual man may describe the feeling of the spirit. It catches you off guard, but not in an unwanted way. Which drives you insane, because every other day we fear the surprising feeling of change. You want to stay where you are comfortable and don't tell me that it's better out there because I don't know whats out there, but I can tell you exactly what's in here and whats in here is exactly what makes me comfortable. Yet for some strange reason this feeling, gives you strength to be comfortable anywhere you go as long as you can see her face. As long as you can look into her eyes, see her smile and hear that sweet sound of her laughter. Her voice beckons you out of the one place you have made that keeps you safe, safe from all the hurt and pain caused by the carelessness of others around you who don't give a damn about you they just want to know what they can get out of you. But she beckons you and you can't say no, even while knowing the whole time you are leaving the one place where you are safe and all the time you spent building this sanctuary brick by brick to keep you from ever feeling that pain again is slowly disappearing. You don't know why, but you keep walking towards the light that seems to radiate off her skin, you can't stop now. You realize that this is exactly how people get hurt and you can almost feel the pain tearing through your heart like a tidal wave turns over a row boat. You ask yourself why would I ever bring a rowboat in waters so deep and powerful, you know you have no control and you try to hold on for dear life but you know eventually you will be thrown over board. But could drowning honestly be worse than the pain of knowing you could have had the one thing you have always longed for, the one thing every man hopes for, the one thing that a man can spend his entire life searching for, the one thing that men write movies for, compose music for, risk their lives for, the one thing that spiritual men get on their knee's and beg for. You couldn't let that kind of light walk away. So you forget everything, every wall you put up, every reason that you decided you would never leave again. The one reason that kept you from waking up happy each day but to hell with anyone that says how can that be worth it because at least I don't have to feel that aching through my entire body. Cursing the very ability I have to pump blood through these veins and ask why does it hurt so much to stay alive, maybe I would be better off if I died because no one should feel this dark, no one should feel this lost. You wonder why I even bother filling these lungs with air, I know they can't possibly need this much air, but for some reason im still gasping and choking, begging for more because I know as soon as I see your smile you will take every single breath I have ever taken away. I would rather drown in my own pain, then miss the chance to say I love you. Even if it never even gets to the point that I can ever hear you say don't leave me, ill still believe in you. I'll still believe that you and me could be a we and that time itself would stop just to see me watch you, because a work of art is timeless and priceless and no amount of money could ever buy you, but ill try to. Not with money, but with affection. because to have this connection would be worth the amount of energy I would spend, and you would ask how could I possibly know that it would all be worth it, I promise you it's worth it. I can't even tell you how I know, I just know like the way Da Vinci knew every stroke he drew would be something that me and you would stare in awe at. I just know like the way a blind man knows hes home without ever seeing what he's walking into and I know this sounds strange, but I pray at night that God would turn you back into one of my ribs so I would never have to spend a day without you. Just so you would know that every breath would be painful without you but all I can ask you is. Please, don't make me live without you. Because we both know I wont make it very far without you, everything I do is a reflection of how I feel about you, perfect. But perfect in the way God intended it to be, which I believe truly means unique, honest and pure. Because I know no one is like you and I know no amount of darkness can corrupt you and it makes me sick to think that you will never be able to see yourself the way I do, but you just have to trust me. It's breath taking. If you don't agree then get on your knees and ask God and you will hear absolutely nothing, because the words he would speak would make an angel weak and no man could ever comprehend them, so just trust me. You're perfect. Perfect in all the ways that people say are make believe, but it's real to me and that's all that matters and that's how I know you will love me, because you don't think i'm crazy. You just trust me.