I get so angry when I can't even take my own advice, or learn from my mistakes. I kick myself for feeling sad, for wanting to cry over silly things or anything at all. To let the pain and the anger and all the sadness determine what I do, what I don't do, who I talk to, who I don't talk to. Then I realize I am only human. I'm going to feel down when my heart is broken. Sometimes I will have to sit and feel the sorrow before I can pick up the pieces and start again. I'm only human. Sometimes I will pray and ask to be able to not feel anything at all. Even though I know its wrong, part of being human is feeling these emotions, I can't let it control my life but I can't not experience them. Life isn't always beautiful and sometimes your stuck in a freezing cold rainstorm for hours and your alone. And you would give anything to be somewhere else, to not think about her. To not feel this way but eventually the sun has to shine and the one you have been hoping and searching for will be there waiting with open arms to give you the love you never knew. The love you wish you felt. Till then God is always there for me even though I am human. He always will be, to take the pain away when its too much. To remind me that he will send someone here who will love me for me.
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