The Greatest Gift

-(K)- I cannot express even the smallest amount of emotion and feeling that I have inside. It almost feels like a curse or thorn in my side because, I cannot express the immense gratitude that I have in my heart. I could thank you a thousand times and still not be satisfied. Bring you a million roses and I still could not get my point across. I wish I could fix every flaw and mistake that each day I make. Go back in time and do things right for once. Every night I thank God for putting you in my life. Without an Angel on my shoulder I would be lost, not knowing what to do or where to go. Without your love I wouldn't be where I am this very day. For that I thank you and wish I could repay you. I wish I could go back in time and fix my decision. I wouldn't have ever left because I now know whats really important. I would give anything to fix my many flaws, so that I might have a chance to give you everything you could ever want. But I still thank God to have you in my life. You have saved my life and given me a second chance. You may not realize the impact that you have had, but someday when you meet God you will finally understand. I pray that you know how important you really are and what a blessing it is to have you in my life. I am glad I can say with honesty God is very proud of me. I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for me. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You are so full of light and beauty it astonishes me. I hope someday you find someone who will give you the world, moon and stars. You deserve it all. I wish you nothing but happiness day in and day out. You bless the lives of so many around you I cannot wait until God wraps you in his arms and shows you all that you have done, the lives that you have blessed. My hope is that I can follow in your footsteps as I leave to serve the Lord for 2 years. Every time I bring someone to the gospel and baptize them I will think of you, of how you saved my life and gave me the greatest gift in the world. How you made my life meaningful and gave me a purpose. All the lives that I touch will be because of you. As badly as I wanted to be able to be the one that could hold you when you are down, and laugh with you when your happy. To see your beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes everyday. I am grateful to call you my best friend and guardian angel. I am sorry if I ever put you through any pain or grief. If I ever let you down or made you cry. My intentions were good I hope you know but, occasionally I can be an idiot. I am sorry for the broken and empty promises I never meant to break. If I could go back and fix it all I would do whatever it takes but, dwelling in the past will drive you crazy and get you no where in life. I just have to pick up the pieces and try start again. A missed opportunity is sad thing and I wish I could go back and have another chance with you if there was ever a chance at all. But I cannot be selfish so I have to let those feelings go, you deserve so much more. I know you will find all the happiness in the world because it will always be attracted to you because of the way you look at life. God does not forget those that do his will and live a good life. It is nice to know that you will always be in good hands. You will always be in my prayers and in my heart. Every where I go, I will never forget the second chance that I got. With all the sincerity in my heart, thank you for being you.-(D)-

Thank you God for the little things.

Thank you God for caring for us so much. For every trial he puts us through in life he gives us a hundred blessings. You just have to take the time to stop and see them. For instance, the nights when the moon is full and the size of a grapefruit just above the mountains. The beautiful sunrises and sunsets that are unique and inspiring every single day. How can you say he isn't looking out for us when he puts these beautiful things all around us just for our enjoyment. Just to make life a little easier when a rough trial comes around. He wants us to be happy more than anything and all you have to do is choose happiness. It's the most simple thing on earth. The beautiful trees everywhere, the beautiful colors that they give as the seasons change. A beautiful lightning storm, the smell of rain, the first fall of snow. I could go on and on, it is truly a blessing to be surrounded by such beauty everyday. He did all of this for us, because he loves us so much. His love astounds me every day. Just when we are on our last limb and we feel as if we can go no further and the trial becomes too hard you can hit your knees and ask for help. He will answer, he is always there to see us through. There is no trial too great, no task too hard to complete. With our Heavenly Father all is possible by him and through him. He will give us strength when we are weak. When the sun goes down and and it becomes dark and you feel alone look up. He has placed trillions of beautiful and astonishing stars above us so that we don't have to fear the dark. He places these beautiful things all around us to remind us that we are not alone and he does care for us. More than we could ever comprehend. He has made the ultimate sacrifice. All he asks is that we live righteously and keep commandments he has placed here for us. It couldn't be any easier and the reward for completing this task is eternal life with our families and our Heavenly Father. In a place that my mind will never be able to comprehend until I pass on from this life. That blows me away... I can't even believe how beautiful this Earth is. Northern Lights, White sand beaches in Hawaii, Yosemite National Park, Yellowstone, Sunrises in Alaska, The Amazon, Niagara Falls, Butchart Gardens, The Ocean! The list is endless. We are surrounded by incredible mountains everywhere you look here in Utah. The beautiful temples all over the world. God has given us such an amazing place to live and its's temporary! We are living it up. So stop and enjoy the small miracles that are happening all around us. The beautiful scenery we can enjoy every single day! I am so lucky to be so blessed, that when I am having a hard day I can go outside and see green trees everywhere, beautiful flowers, giant mountains, blue sky, a huge lake and the faces of those that I love and care about. Thank you God, for everything.

In between beats.

Some flaws run so deep that you cannot see them when you look in the mirror. Sometimes you don't see it at all until you try looking from someone else's view. Even then you might not catch it. Thankfully I have an incredible friend that I look up to and love very much. She revealed to me a great truth that I have failed to see my entire life. I have been selfish. I had my heart set on something and when it was set on something I pursued it with every ounce of energy that I had. At times without thinking how it would effect those around me, someone else's feelings. I have been heart broken a time or two and immediately I turn to anger. Because I was being selfish. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it at that very moment. I believed I deserved it or I had earned it. I was only thinking about me, myself and I. It's sad to just now understand how badly I may have hurt someone else's feelings or how I have treated their heart. Truth is someone as selfish as me does not deserve any heart and have in no way earned one. Now I can see why my heart was the only one that I was allowed to ever hold. Because I only cared for my heart. Maybe with this knowledge I have now I could have a chance at earning her heart but you cannot dwell in the past because what's done is done. Nothing I can do will ever change it. So I just have to pray that I can soon forget the feelings I have been carrying for so long and try to start over. Now my only goal is to serve the lord for two years. I owe him more than I can possibly repay him, and I have been selfish thinking about being alone and how it hurts and the ache of a broken heart but he was with me every step of the way and he was there to comfort me. I just needed to put away my pride and get my knees and ask for it. But now I understand and I can go and do his work. Glorify him to the highest degree and share his compassion with the world. I want to be more like my God. His love will always be with me and I cannot wait for the day where I kneel at his feet and see the holes in his hands and his feet as he embraces me and says welcome home, I have missed you and I am proud of what you have done. I will live a life that I know my God will be proud of. My love for him continually grows as I learn so much more and feel his hand in my life guiding me back to his arms. So to my friend, thank you. You deserve so much more than I could ever dream of giving you. You have brought me the greatest joy in my life. The gospel. You have shown me the light so I can do the same for so many others. Thank you for making me a better person. I hope your life is filled happiness and love.

A nights story.

The hardest thing to do is to stop allowing yourself to be influenced negatively by friends around you and stop justifying the wrongs and mistakes you make each day. To let go of close friends that mean a lot you and you have so many memories that you have but, sometimes the right choice is always the hardest one and sometimes it's hard to see how beneficial the choice is and how it will turn out down the road. Once you stop to think about what is really truly important in life (The Gospel) you start to understand why the decision has to be made and why it is so minute compared to what really matters. It may seem like such a big deal but, what right do I have to not fully give back to God for everything he has done for me. It is well worth giving everything up for him because he can get me through anything I run into on this Earth for this short time. To have someone there for you that knows EXACTLY how you feel and what you're going through just brings the most incredible comfort. All though I did enjoy and love every memory I share with them it cannot compare to the feeling of the spirit and the love you receive from the Gospel and doing what's right. If they cannot understand what is important and why you are making the choice that you are then perhaps they are not the true friends that you thought they were. Who knows maybe by the choice you make it will be an example for them to stop and think about the choices they make and you could possibly have a positive influence on them. Which in the end is the ultimate goal as a missionary, bring souls to Christ and send the Gospel throughout the Earth. It brings me much pain and disappointment when I realize all the many opportunities I have had to do missionary work in my life. The chances I had to make Heavenly Father proud of me and repay him for his great sacrifice. Just to get some temporary joy or pleasure in this very small life. I hate not seeing the big picture and I would give anything to go back and re-do everything again with this knowledge that I have obtained. God knows that I am not perfect and I will make plenty of mistakes in my life so he gave us the atonement so I can repent and make up for the wrongs I have done. I cannot wait to teach my children so they wont have to learn the hard way. I pray that they will open their hearts to the gospel and fully receive it. So they can Return with Honor like so many of us try to do. To make God proud of what we have done. Every day is a test but, the beautiful thing is that we know every single answer and for the occasions that we don't all we have to do is ask for the answer and it will be given to us. That sounds like the easiest test to pass in the world and it us if we choose to use the knowledge and help we are given every day. Being human we are bound to make mistakes but we can repent and be forgiven, get a new slate and start clean again. Because we are loved. I am so thankful for all the miracles around and the love I see from God. The stars in the night sky so we don't have to fear the dark. So we are always reminded of the power and light of Christ. SO we will always have a guide in life no matter where you are. Beautiful Sunrises and Sunsets every single day. So we can remember what is in store for us in eternity with God. So we can find good and beauty in the world even at the worst of times. He cares so much it is astonishing, I owe him everything and so much than I can possibly give. So I will go each day with a heart full of thanks and love for my God. I cannot wait to share this message with people who have not been able to hear it. So I can bring my brothers and sisters back to our loving father in Heaven, together forever. To have a beautiful wife and children that I can be with forever. Oh how the blessings just pile on everyday, sometimes it has hard to look and find them. But once we stop to look they surround you, it's impossible to miss them. It makes me feel better than anything on this Earth can make me feel, I am truly blessed to have the gospel in my life.